It’s such a huge part of understanding yourself, not just who you are, but what you like. As a Black girl from South London who grew up in the church, my sexuality was always something I battled with. I went through different phases, trying to make sense of what I was feeling. But when I look back, I see a young Black girl who was simply struggling to come to terms with her identity. 

A lot of my struggle came from being the only female in my family and among my friends who was attracted to women. Because of my upbringing, I was scared. Scared of rejection. Scared of being different. 

Over time, I started to accept that yes, I am attracted to women, and I should be proud of that. One day, sitting alone in my studio flat, I found the courage to call each of my close family members and friends and tell them, “I’m a lesbian.” I was scared, but I was ready. Ready to be fearless and ready to face whatever came next. Luckily for me, nobody was surprised. 

For many, coming out comes with the fear of abandonment, homelessness, or worse. That’s valid and very real. But for me, the moment I picked up the phone, I knew that sharing this part of myself meant I was choosing to fully accept who I am. I was choosing to be loved regardless. To be fearless. To be proud. 

Even if you choose not to share that part of yourself with others, my main message is to be proud of who you are internally, because that’s what matters most. 

I believe we should look at coming out as a privilege, especially in the sense that if someone knows you, shares space with you, and is trusted with your truth, that is the privilege. I truly believe you should be able to love who you love, and those who can’t accept that don’t truly understand what love is. Love comes in many forms. Coming out doesn’t have to be this huge, defining moment. The real moment is learning to love yourself and who you love. 

I told myself, if someone can’t accept me for who I am, maybe they were never meant to be in my life to begin with. That’s a hard truth, but one I’ve learned to accept, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I love loudly, and I am not ashamed. 

Going to my first Pride in 2024 was such a special experience. I ended up bumping into friends and even made some new ones just by chatting about our coming out stories. It felt beautiful being around other Black gay people, seeing their families supporting them, and seeing older queer folks too. It reminded me how important it is to be your true self and to celebrate that and your pride fully. 

I say all this to remind you: Pride season isn’t just about being proud of your identity or the challenges you’ve overcome. It’s about loving yourself, celebrating your journey, and honouring the love you give and receive.